Tracy Ziman Jacobs is an Intimacy and Relationship Coach. She focuses on rebuilding intimacy between couples and individual clients by assisting to identify and awaken sexual desire within and takes them on a journey of sexual awakening.
Tracy’s clients range from heterosexual, multi-racial, multi-cultural, to LGBQT+ and cover all religions. There is nothing off topic when in her practice. Tracy works differently from a Sex Therapist in that her approach to therapy is short term in nature (8-10 sessions) and the focus is on intimacy by providing tools and skills such as sensual massage, and other tools relevant to modern needs and exploration.
Signs that you may need Intimacy Coaching may be any of the following:
- You are repeating old patterns in relationships
Samantha has met Rob and after 3 blissful months together she feels that Rob is acting a bit weird. She can’t believe this is happening AGAIN! When the relationship ends, he says she became too “clingy” and needy. She wouldn’t let him see his friends and he “wanted out”.
Intimacy coaching will explore what happens when Sam gets into a relationship and why is she repeating old habits that are stopping her from connecting in a healthy relationship.
2. You realize you want to work through past sexual trauma
Past sexual trauma has a way of rearing its ugly head even though one is sure that enough time has passed since the event, or one has blocked out the trauma. This occurs to such an extent that it eventually begins to creep into every relationship, from work – to social and romantic. Clients will usually seek help when they can no longer avoid the consequences of unresolved issues.
3. You want to explore your sexual orientation
Siphiso grew up feeling a bit different from the other boys in his class but wasn’t quite sure why. He dated some girls at school and even had a long-term relationship at university. The sex was always an issue. He loved these girls but not in the way that he saw in the movies. He actually loved the way men smelled and the way they dressed. He loved the way they walked and often found himself wondering what it would be like to kiss a guy. This was happening more and more. He felt confused and scared that if he admitted he might be gay, then what?
4. You wish to awaken your desires and passions and do not know how
Thandi is 23 and is still a virgin. She has never really masturbated and has felt very shy and embarrassed to talk to her mother or any family members about sex. Her friends have all broken their virginity which makes it even more embarrassing for her. We explore myths and facts about sex, her body, and any other non-truths that have been stopping her from getting in touch with her body and sexuality. Another client may not understand why, after 25 years of marriage, he has no desire for sex anymore. We would explore health issues, depression, financial concerns any other ways to find the underlying cause of a lack of libido and how to kick-start passion.
Signs for couples who are asking “Do we need an Intimacy Coach?” may feel the below issues resonate with them, as pointed out by Vanessa Marin in her article posted by Bustle (Nov 6, 2015). Tracy recognises these issues as being the most common when couples seek out intimacy and relationship advice.
You Are Fighting About Sex a lot
You Just Want To Feel More Playful, Fun And Spontaneous Together
You Have Different Sex Drives (And It’s a Problem)
One Partner Doesn’t Want Sex
You Want To Spice Up Your Sex Life
You Can’t Remember The Last Time You Had Sex
You Want To Make Intimacy a Priority
You Want To Improve Your Sexual Communication
You Are Grappling With Change
You Are Exploring New Boundaries In Your Relationship
To summarize these points, the main reason couples explore intimacy coaching is about sex. Either partner is getting too little or too much. One feels bad and guilty all the time about sex either because he/she is always initiating and the other is always refusing, causing guilt and shame, leading to frustration and resentment. The lines of communication are no longer open to discussion without an argument. The issues keep being ‘swept under the carpet’ until the next time. Some couples have had a new baby which change the sexual dynamics of the relationship, especially if the father witnessed the baby being born, or if the mother is experiencing baby-blues. Other couples wish to explore alternative agreements to their relationship. One person is open to allowing a third person in and the other is not.